Eat Me
by Phantom Steed
Summary: ..... a pepperini that talks.. and wants to be eaten.


Eat ME  
  
Quatre, Duo and Wufei have all been invited over to Heero and trowas Apt. Building. Quatre rides the elevator up to the  
  
5th floor and meets Duo at the apt. door. Wufeis not far behind.  
  
Heero invites them in and they all sit down in the living room.  
  
"Its nice to see you all again." Quatre says happily, looking at each of the pilots.  
  
"Yeah," Duo nods "how long has it been? What, a year?"  
  
Wufei snorts "3 months, 17 days, 4 hours, 27 minutes and 3 seconds."  
  
there is a long pause, then Quatre states "but who's really counting?"  
  
"hn."  
  
"Well, I would have made something to eat, but, Heero's not good with money, and we have no food in the house"  
  
Trowa sighs  
  
"Sweet! Lets order Pizza!" Duo yells and jumps up off the couch he's sitting on  
  
"hn."  
  
"Pizza sounds good, right Wufei?" Asks Quatre. he turns towords Wufei and waits for an answer  
  
"... I wouldn't care..."  
  
Duo grins "Pizza it is!! Whos comming to get it with me?!"  
  
Trowa stares at Duo for a moment, fidgiting in his chair "um, Duo, we're gonna order"  
  
there is another long pause. Duo scratches himself behind the head "yeah, i knew that..."  
  
Heero picks up the phone and dials, the pizza shop, and eventually, the pizza guy comes and gives the G-boys there  
  
pizza after getting paid. Heero brings the pizza into the living room and sets it onto the table. Trowa goes into the  
  
kitches and gets some bottles out of the fridge. When he gets back into the living room, Wufei grabs one of the bottle  
  
away from him.  
  
"Wine?!" he demands, after examining the lable "are you nuts? wine is for the weak!"  
  
Trowa rolls his eyes and Duo grabs the bottle from Wufei  
  
"holly hell!" he yells "this is 17 year old french red wine! Sweet!"  
  
"hn."  
  
Trowa hands heero and quatre each a bottle  
  
"where did you get the money to buy this trowa??" Duo demands  
  
trowa shrugs and looks at heero. Heero glares at him  
  
"thats why you stole my pay check."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Apparently, no one could really last more than half an hour. Heero and Trowa are passed out on one couch, while Duo  
  
and quatre are passed out on the other couch. Wufei is the only one whos not unconciouse, and he was doing most of  
  
the drinking too.  
  
The pizza is gone, except for a couple of topping that have been left in the box. Wufei is really really drunk, sitting on the  
  
chair in heero and trowa's apt. building. He's kinda... delusional  
  
"Eaaaaaat Meeeeee"  
  
Wufei jumps up quickly and looks around "who said that?!" he demands  
  
"eaaaaaaat meeeeee!"  
  
Wufei looks down at the pizza box and sees a lown pepperoni  
  
"huh?"  
  
"eaat meee!!"  
  
"eat you?"  
  
"Yes!! Eat Me!!"  
  
The pepperoni jumps up and down waving its tiny little arms around like... a mad pepperoni. Wufei blinks  
  
"eat me now, ask questions later!"  
  
"i cant eat you!"  
  
"eaaat meee!"  
  
"no!"  
  
"yes!! eaaaat meeee!!"  
  
"i will not eat something that looks like you!" Wufei yells, glaring down at the pepperoni  
  
"i'll make you eat me then!"  
  
the pepperoni hops over to Duo and starts yanking on his braid, and Just by luck, Sally Po is walking by the room, on her  
  
way to her own room, when she hears Wufei yelling.  
  
"Stop it.. no, stop it. that wont make me.. what?... no, stay away fr.. no, no! get awa.. Hey! no! get out of Trowas  
  
pants!"  
  
Sally hesitates for a minute to get all this information into her head.  
  
"Wufei.. in Trowa's pants? i allways knew he was queer." Sally walks away and goes into her room quickly  
  
well, the pepperoni peaks out of Trowas pants and looks at Wufei  
  
"now will you eat me?"  
  
"most definatly not! look at were you are!!"  
  
The pepperoni jumps onto the table and glares at him  
  
"C'mon, i know you want me. EAT ME!"  
  
Wufei cross' his arms "no"  
  
"eat me."  
  
"no!!"  
  
"yes!! eat me!! i know you liked it when i was in Trowas pants! and get this, if you EAT meyou'll be able to SEE what i  
  
SAW!"  
  
"i dont like trowa. and i dont want to see what the fool has down his pants. IF he has anything down there at all"  
  
the pepperoni start jumping up and down once again  
  
"why wont you EAT ME??"  
  
"because, I"M GONNA EAT YOU!!"  
  
duo had awaken and he snatches the pepperoni up off the table as it yells  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT YOU!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Duo pops the pepperoni into his mouth and eats it. wufei looks at Duo for a couple seconds  
  
"thank you, baka"  
  
"no problem! eating talking pepperonies is what i live fo..."  
  
Duo stops before he can finish his sentance, his eyes go wide.  
  
".. Maxwell?"  
  
"oh, my, GOD!"  
  
"what, Maxwell?! whats wrong?!"  
  
"nothings WRONG, its what i can SEE that i like so much!"  
  
"...what can you see?"  
  
"i can see whats in Trowas pants!!!"  
  
"WHAT?!? cough up that pepperoni, NOW!"  
  
Wufei pounces onto Duo and they start wrestling on the floor.  
  
the end.  
  
((heh, thats my fic!! cool, ne? well.. yeah. R&R please!!!)) 


End file.
